I recently listened to a segment on NPR warning women against hooking up. It is based on a book by Laura Sessions Stepp called Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both. She warns teens and twenty-somethings of the heavy emotional cost of "hooking up" with no commitment or entanglement.
Several examples were given where the women had emotional issues after hooking up.
- Woman #1: A 40 year old woman with dysfunctional loveless parents fearing the same for herself engaged in loveless relationships for the better part of her life and when she finally found someone she loves, she was unable to turn on her emotions.
- Woman #2: A young college female student feared hooking up so much that she avoided dating her entire freshmen year in college. She obviously felt peer pressure to hook up when she didn't want to.
- Woman #3: Another young woman trekked across campus to hook up with a guy she has feelings for though he didn't feel the same for her. Later on, she felt cheated because he didn't treat her with respect, e.g., she left his place at 2am in the morning taking the bus and he didn't offer to give her a ride even though he had a car.
It is obvious to me that the women that had issues with hooking up are doing it for all the wrong reasons. It isn't that hooking up can lead to emotional issues for women, it is that women hooking up for the wrong reasons can have emotional issues. Personally, I don't see anything wrong for the mature adult woman making a conscious decision to hook up because her life is too busy with work and she needs the occasional physical release. If she hooked up, she did it because it was the best thing for her at that stage of her life, not because she hoped that the guy would like her back or that she felt peer pressure to do it.
I would love to get some feedback from women on this topic.
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